id be glad to
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
