God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
