you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize