Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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