Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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