Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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