party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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