smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
