I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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