If i come over, it means nothing
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
