I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
