You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
