yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
