i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
