Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
