Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
