you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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