Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize