We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We got so high we made milksteak
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
