Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
