he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
