the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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