So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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