just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
