Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
