We're like a lot better than the average bears
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
