You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
