"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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