my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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