remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she told me i tasted like america
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
