I love black thongs
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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