saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
