i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
