Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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