I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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