I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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