and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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