Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
