Ambien. No doubt about it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
