I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
