Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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