at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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