omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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