the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
