the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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