remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
