How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
