whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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