No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
