just tell him i said nine months
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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