This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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