Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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