Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
