She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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