Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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