somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
