just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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