She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
