If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
