1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
