honey bunches of taint.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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