i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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