my mouth tastes like poor choices
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
