He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I touched a dick in church today
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
