Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
