He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
