The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize