its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
