He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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