you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
