i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
