this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
