shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Are we still banned from the library?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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