who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
