we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
