We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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