They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
