i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
