For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
