I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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